| Monday, June 14, 2010
I am sorry my Angel, if I had hurt your feelings by rushing myself onto you now, at this juncture in your life, when u need more time to be you. I am sorry for EXPECTING you to be as fast as me in the willingness to open up your emotions. I do understand now and was not doing it intentionaly. I hope you someday will understand that. Or, maybe you do already. In any case I wanted to put it here in words, I am sorry if I had rushed you, I really did not meant it like that.

And really, I am glad that I have said what I wanted to say to you, for I believe in honesty/openess. I think that courting (coutship)is important to get to know your partner before comittment either through marriage or having a child. I cannot understand it when girsl/guys these days have this idea where they just meet and want to skip all the courtship stages either by trying to convince others or themselves that they are in love and that by leap froging the process it is truly because " you are the one."

I don't know why girls/guys are relucutant to court. Is it due to money? To take thier partner out you do not necessarily have to have an expensive dinner, you can organise a date to a Musuem, take a walk in the park, go for a coffee etc. I think that we store up huge problems for ourselves when we allow the clock to tick so loudly that we cannot find the time to really get to know the person, before taking the relationship to the next stage. I am not that way and I wanted to communicate that to you very well, thus my openess and decision to talk it out.

Relationship? What's that? I don't think many guys/girls even know the definition of a relationship (with anything). Seriously...even if you "court", (get-to-know one another), learn each others families (keep in mind even though you take on the family...the family should not be the only source of influence with you and your mates decisions, though they are one of the best people to get feedback from..), and date for a period of time....REAL REALTIONSHIPS contiue to take work, dedication/committment and the desire to grow. Some people meet for the firt time and they stay together forever and others date for a LOOOONG time and never get to know one another. Knowing this I wanted to clear my thougts to you and buid my trust in you and me, thus the openess..the choice to talk it out!

I am a strong believer in openess, honesty, yes I know! I have said it a million times but that is the truth.. to me at least.. Some relationships move faster than others because some people (like me) are more willing to be open emotionally than others. With that said, no matter who you are, it is imperative that time is taken to truly get to know your significant best you can anyway. Because can we ever really say we know everything about our spouses or significant other? I believe we must simply come to a point at which we are at a level and place where we are comfortable with the things we may not know because of the solid foundation built on the things we do. And the foundation can only be built with trust and trust comes with openess.

And because, I want to be with you for the long haul and I want to be able to wake up in the morning and go to bed at night with you. I want to make you my only committment. I just don't think one can put a time line on how he/she feels about someone and when they think they want to be with them. Its emotional, mental, physical and spiritual. One can't go in a relationship afraid to ask the pertinent questions. Nor can they go in expecting the answer to be what they want it to be. We have to bend a little here and there. Its' a PROCESS... I am ready for that and wanted to communicate it, thus my openess..

In life.. there's always choices we need to make.. some are harder than others. but whatever we choose determines which path is next for us to follow. Some may not make sense at the moment.. but in hopes of it being for the best.. we will know one day, sooner or later.. that it is. Keep in mind, going for the safer bet isn't always the best, the greater the risk, the better the return and throughout this whole deciding process.. the heart strongly influences and almost always wins..have faith in you. Accept that you are where you are because it's exactly where you have always wanted to be.


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