My errings..

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I think a lot of men just see a woman's tears as something to be fixed but not understood. Although I intensely dislike crying in front of others as it is very intimate and sharing vulnerability is not my cup of tea. It could be because of my male egoistic nature finding difficulty in sharing that tender, vulnerable part of myself.

From my experience I believe that women are a lot more expressive and emotionally in touch with their inner self than most men, a few exceptions. I, for the most part is least concerned about how others perceive me but to look weak in the eyes of my peers. But that does not rule out the fact that I have fears and feel weak when encountered by them.

The last time I cried was when I felt betrayed, more because it meant confining someone I dreamed a future with. The momentum of betrayal did not hit hard till after. The tears was mostly because I felt weak and lost at the thought of she leaving me. What I failed to notice at that time was she had cried before and I never saw the reasons for it thus my tears later!

If only, I had not seen her crying as an act which should be fixed but not to be understood, maybe my life would be different now. But I believe in what Oliver Wendell Holmes said; "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." I have now understood that sometimes emotions are associated with relief and I need to acknowledge it not just find a way to fix it!

My errings..

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Sunday, September 27, 2009

With 1 comments:

Tag : I, Perspective, Share

Happy 21st Birthday Bro

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Happy Birthday to you my brother, finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since 15!!! ;) Even though I still look at u as my lil baby bro, I’m soooo proud of the great man you’ve grown into. Enjoy your 21st Birthday Sayanthan!!!

p/s: My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. lol

Happy 21st Birthday Bro

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Friday, September 25, 2009

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Tag : Adore, Birthday, Wishes

You First!

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Sorry to those who find this boring, but I have to bring this subject back again, as the blog is primarily for my own progression and pleasure! Anyway I have noticed most of the people I know often have great difficulty in talking about their needs and wants. It is often as if they are struggling against some internal prohibition that forbids them from knowing or stating what their deepest needs and wants are. Well, how can we live or act effectively without knowing them??

First let see why is this so? Maybe because as children we received parental messages that amounted to, "Listen, son, here is how it is. Life is not about you. Life is not about what you need or want or feel. It is about what other people what other people need, feel or want. You don't really matter."...Or maybe it is the we may experience certain desires that clash with our elf-concept, and so we deny and disown them. For example, a grown man's need for physical nurturing, for simple holding and stroking may be denied because it clashes with his idea of manliness and autonomy.

But either way I think we need to put that concept behind us and be open about everything! As this outdated idea about what our needs are seems to bury our real important needs. And this affects our feelings and behavior in ways we do not recognize.Take for example the need for physical touch may show up as compulsive sexual promiscuity, since sex is the only acceptable form of physical touch. Or the need for understanding and visibility that is a child's birthright may show up in an adult's obsession with being pleasing and popular, often in ways that are humiliating and offensive to self-esteem. I know it is not easy to understand what I am trying to convince here, especially to the folks of my kind, Desi's but oh well I think it is about time we change!

To treat needs and wants with respect, to fight for one's deepest longings, to take those longings seriously is a formidable and frightening challenge. People give away pieces of their soul in order to escape responsibility or to "belong." They are expert at self-surrender and self-sacrifice. Then in defiant resentment, often not knowing who or what they are defying, they become selfish, not in any noble or intelligent way but in the narrow and petty sense. Honoring one's true wants can be not an act of self-indulgence but an act of courage!

You First!

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Wednesday, September 23, 2009

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Tag : I, Perspective

Todays Paper

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Todays Paper

Posted by : Jegan

Date :

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Tag : Digital Impression, I Write, poem

BM - AM

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Before Marriage:

He: At last, Yes It was so hard to wait!
She: Do you want to leave me?
He: No, Don’t even think about it!
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No, why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy, I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes!
She: Darling!

Curious about the after marriage? Read the text from bottom to top. Funny isn’t it?

BM - AM

Posted by : Jegan

Date :

With 1 comments:

Tag : Stuffs

Eid Mubarak

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Taqabbalallâhu minnâ wa minkum

May this beautiful day keep all of us in a ever smiling frame of happiness. My hearty wishes goes to each and every soul who celebrates. Especially for you; Faridah, Ishak, Kiran, Shadab, Fatima, Rehana, Seyed Ali Moulana, Syma, Rama, Abdhul and all your families : )

Eid Mubarak

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Monday, September 21, 2009

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Tag : Wishes

Unnai Pol Oruvan

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Last night I saw Unnai Pol Oruvan, First day first show!!! The movie is neat and crisp. It does not revolve around Kamal or Mohanlal only but all of its characters. I am yet to see A Wednesday, a more detailed review after seeing the original will be posted in the coming weeks.

But I just wanted to touch base on the psychological aspect of the film/characters. Though the movie is not trying to support terrorism in the core it does stimulate a thought along those lines. Dr. Kamal Haasan in the later part of the movie justifies his action with an incident from the past. By this the movie is trying to suggest that not all terrorist fight against real enemies; with their unconscious anger they fight against old psychological wounds from past betrayals. It wasn’t political injustice alone that hurt these individuals, it was fraud—intellectual and emotional fraud.


I am curious to see the Hindi version and the Tamil a few more times before I come back with a detailed review of my perspective of the movie. Overall I enjoyed the movie and obviously Kamal! One of my fav scenes, is when Kamal at the end of it all showcases the fear in every common man who at some point is pushed to do some extreme activities. His body language at that one specific scene is the signature of his caliber.

Note: Do I think the movie would be a success?
Maybe not as big as Dasavatharam.
But it is a must see!

Unnai Pol Oruvan

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Friday, September 18, 2009

With 1 comments:

Tag : KamalHaasan, KamalHassan, Perspective, Review

MyTouch 3G

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My new ringer... some specs below;

* Battery: Li - Ion, 1340 mAh
* Camera: 3.2 megapixels Resolution
* Internet: Full HTML Browser
* Network: GSM Quad-band phone capable of global roaming (850/900/1800/1900 MHz) UMTS dual-band global 3G (1700/2100 MHz)
* OS: Android
* Resolution: 320 x 480 pixels
* Size: 4.45 x 2.19 x 0.58 inches (113 x 56 x 15 mm)
* Standby: 600 hours (25 days) of Stand-by time
* Talk: 6 hours (360 mins) of Talk time
* Touch Screen: 3.2-inches
* Voice: Dialing, Commands, Recording, Speaker Phone

MyTouch 3G

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Thursday, September 10, 2009

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Tag : Adore, Stuffs

Finitude

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My introduction to killing ignorance ~ I realized I am self-willed, addicted to control and self-pleasure, and unwilling to properly steward the relationships and opportunities "religious" God places in my life. I questioned my place at the temple this Sunday, attempting to leave a few times before God exposed my pride and youthful arrogance and called me to submit to the place he had called me to. The place to share love and love only!

When do I realize the finitude of my time/existence? I wonder; is it when I die someday and be a part of memory of the ones I love? They all will die someday and all memory of Jegan in this world will die with them. Is that the extent of my presence here?

Finitude and transcendence are both only fully realized when an individual engages with others. This dialectic position cannot be taught, in the same way a deep and practical understanding of purusarthas more specifically, Kama cannot be taught. This position allows two individuals to engage one another as equals, to see where the limitations of those specific circumstances arise and to understand how the limitations can be overcome.

But then we live past purusarthas, an example; take a teacher, by our common conception, does not engage a student as an equal and this lack of mutual reciprocity between the two is what stands in the way of purusarthas being a teachable concept. Thus creating the end to Self realization at a very early age. There is sorrow in finitude. The Self is beyond time, space and objects. It is infinite and hence of the nature of absolute happiness. And I need to practice my true being.

Quoting Adi Sankaracharya; "What is enquiry into the Truth? It is the firm conviction that the Self is real, and all, other than that, is unreal."

We, humans are job-assigning creatures. We will even assign jobs to Gods! But it is because we fail to realize the Self, we never complete the assigned job or realize it even! Instead we held happiness in acquiring/conquering the tamas. I need to examines the limitations and possibilities that emerge from the interaction between intellectual and interpersonal relationships. This, I hope is one way to realize Self. Here, the body and the soul needs Self realization!

Once again to quote Adi Sankaracharya; "Knowing that I am different from the body, I need not neglect the body. It is a vehicle that I use to transact with the world. It is the temple which houses the Pure Self within."

Finitude

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Monday, September 7, 2009

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Tag : I, Perspective

Unnai Pol Oruthi

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Rocker gal

I'm talking about the kind of greatness that comes along after a child blows her parents minds by playing Beethoven's 9th on the piano before she can walk - no, I'm not talking about Shruti Rajalakshmi Hassan , she only wishes. Yet it's not unlike the affect she will have on our musical listening futures after you let her vocals wrap themselves around your hearts. Yes, I am referring to her rendition of "Vaanam Ellai... Illai" a duet with Blaaze! Hip-hop listeners get ready to Jam!

As for the other songs from Unnai Pol Oruvan, "Allah Jane" features elegantly swaying hooks that have kept me from leaving this song's blissful embrace for the last hour. With it's mystical/middle eastern rhythm and Kamal Hassan's soulful ( he sounds like ARR at times ) perfection takes me a prisoner. There is also a female version of the same by Shruthi, I need to listen to it more.

"Nilai Varuma", with some rather lo-fi percussion and to be honest, what I enjoy the most about this particular songs thus far is the use of electric guitar. I've heard a few other Tamil songs with EG and none of them have used it to such importance.

Then you have the title song Unnai Pol Oruvan, again lots of EG. I like the progression of this song, like when the chorus build up pulls out they distance the vocals, and as the song comes towards the end they bring them back up and consequently closer to the listener. I enjoyed it.

This particular album has a halting stutter to the vocal delivery and really interesting production. A very hard rock feel, something that somehow I was not expecting even Shruti seems to be a rocker gal!

Unnai Pol Oruthi

Posted by : Jegan

Date :

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Tag : Perspective, Review