Finding you!

As I watch this spectacular view of Sugar Loaf MT, MD I marvel at how much we are a product of our childhoods and yet, many a times, rise over and above it, to become functional people in our own right, despite the torn psyche of the past.

Many of you folks have heard me say, "where there is a grave problem, there is also HOPE" The past few days I am hearing it said more to myself.. funny how life makes a 360 degree turn all the time. 3 - 4 years ago I was this happy go luck guy, not that I am not now.. just that I have started to slow down to find the true nature of my soul. Taking driving as a metaphor, it is making me hit gently on the brakes, slow down a little and just go on cruise mode. It is extinguishing the volatile flames of my impatience and anger, and dousing it a bit. The aftermath is a cool silence, it is making me introspect.

A few days ago I was asked; what is the cause of this sudden change? why me? Though I did try and explain what came to my mind at the very instant via our modern tool of (mal) communication, (fast) sms! I would like to add a few more here, hoping maybe one day(slow- the downfall to sms.. lol!) it will reach its destination. I am a believer in Karma, what goes around comes around, and it all happens for a reason. I am till this moment living a life that I see possible, in essence I mean that which you manifest if before you.

This thought/idea/principal of my life is not a sudden change but one that has been in the making since my birth! As I sit back and recollect the past years of my life, I can now (though not in HD) see my life to be a drawing of my inner, deeper, sub conscious desires. In effect I am living what I had always wanted, I wanted to be independent, I wanted to take up challenges and proving it wrong, I wanted to live outside of the box. And a few who knows me up close and personal would agree that this day my life is just as I had described, with tons of challenges and equal amount of independence. And one by one I am proving the challenges I face everyday wrong.

Believe in me - Dearest mine; This is meant to be. If not why should we cross again? I did what I did because I failed to see today.. but now that I have I won't make the mistake again! I admire the sincerity of thee! Not falling short is thy independent nature. I'd like to make what you are into something so wonderous in this life of mine. And I realize the only way to get what you want, is to go after it, mindfully while asking for grace along the way. Plus, I need to firmly commit myself to change. And that is what I am doing here, right now. So starting tomorrow, for the next 1 week (yes 1 week alone)….I want to institute these changes with determination and strength. And I want to see how this one week impacts me. If at the end of it, I feel good about the changes, then perhaps, I will have the energy of positive impact to carry me into the next week, and the next and the next. For now, it starts with tomorrow.