Living a lie..

| Friday, April 23, 2010
Is this what life is all about? Her head was spining as she recalled; Life isn’t the same anymore since he stepped into her life. He was the love of her life. Although her positive outlook towards life and cheerful nature won her many friends, she frequently wishes to have a close boyfriend whom she can share her woes and joy. She believed very much in true love and decided to take her time to wait for her right guy to appear. She believed that there would definitely be someone special out there for her, but none came.

Every summer, her close friend would return from Paris to look her up. She was aware that he still held some hope of kindling romance with her. She did not wish to mislead him in any way. So she would always get one of her boy friends to pose as her steady whenever he came back.

For several years she continued to get a different guy to pose as her romantic interest. So whenever he came to visit her, he would be led into believing that nothing could develop between her and the guy.

He, however took all those rather well, often trying to casually tease her about her different boyfriends, or so, as it seemed! In fact, the guy often wept in secret whenever he saw her with another guy, but he was too proud to admit it. Still, every summer, he returned, hoping to re-kindle some form of romance. But each time, he returned to Paris feeling disappointed.

One day he finally decided that he could not play that game any longer. Therefore, he confronted her and professed that after all those years, she was still the only lady that he had ever loved. Although the girl knew of his feelings for her, she was still taken back and have never expected him to react that way. She always thought that he would slowly forget about her over time and come to terms that there is nothing between them. Although she was touched by his undying love for her and wanted so much to accept him, she remembered why she rejected him in the first place-she was not ready. So she hardened her heart and turned him down cruelly. Since then, three years have passed and the guy never return anymore. They never even wrote to each other. The girl went on with her life..... still searching for the one but somehow deep inside her, she missed him.

Summer of 2008, she went to her friend's party alone. "Hey, how come all alone this year? Where are all your boyfriends? What happened to that Paris dude who joins you every summer?", asked one of her friends. She felt warm and comforted by her friend's queries about him, still she just surged on.

Then, she came upon one of her many boy friends whom she once requested to pose as her steady. She wanted so much to ignore him ..... not that she was impolite, but because at that moment, she just didn't feel comfortable with those boy friends anymore. It was almost like she was being judged by them. One guy saw her and shouted across the floor for her. Unable to avoid him, she went up to acknowledge him.

“Hi......how are you? Enjoying the party?" the guy asked.
"Sure.....yeah!", she replied.
He was slightly tipsy..... must be from the whiskey in his hand. He continued,
"Why...? Don't you need someone to pose as your boy friend this year?" Then she answered, "No, there is no need for that anymore......"
Before she can continue, she was interrupted, "Oh yes! Must have found a boyfriend! You haven't been searching for one for the past years, right?" The girl looked up, as if she has struck gold, her face beamed and looked directly at the drunken guy. She replied, "Yes......you are right! I haven't been looking for anyone for the past years."

With that, the girl darted across the floor and out the door, leaving the guy in much bewilderment. She finally realized that she has already found her dream guy, and he was.....the Paris guy all along!

The tipsy guy has said something that awoken her. All along she has found her guy. That was why she did not bother to look further when she realized he was not coming back. It was not any specific guy she was seeking! It was perfection that she wanted, and yes.....perfection!!

Relationship is something both parties should work on. Realizing that she had let away someone so important in her life, she decided to call him immediately. Her whole mind was flooded with fear. She was afraid that he might have found someone new or no longer had the same feelings anymore..... For once, she felt the fear of losing someone.

As it usually is, the line was quite hard to get through, especially an overseas call. She tried again and again, never giving up. Finally, she got through......precisely at 1200 midnight. She confessed her love for him and the guy was moved to tears. It seemed that he never got over her! Even after so long, he was still waiting for her, never giving up.

She was so excited to begin her new chapter, to meet him and begin their lives. She decided to fly to Paris to join him. It was the happiest time of their lives! But their happy time was short-lived. Two days before she was supposed to fly to Paris, she received a call from his brother. He had a head-on car collision with a drunken driver. He passed away after 6 hours in a coma.

She was devastated, as it was a complete loss. Why, did fate play such cruel games with her? She cursed death for taking him away from her, denying even one last look at him! How cruel? She cursed! How she damned the Gods...!! How she hated herself....for taking so long to realize her mistake!! She was living a lie!!! That was in 2009.

The moral of this story is : -
Treasure what you have...
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...
Time is Eternity.

All you folks out there with someone special in your heart, cherish that person, cherish every moment that you spend together with that special someone, for in life, anything can happen anytime. You may painfully regret, only to realize that it is too late.

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