Newest Post
Play time!!!
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Sunday, December 20, 2009
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It'll be fun!
Anyone is welcome to come play!
This snow will stay on the ground for a few days.
This snow will stay on the ground for a few days.
Bring warm clothes!
And lots of energy.It'll be fun!
Yet another year...
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009
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Listen up guys and gals, dudes and dudesses, without turning this into an Oscar night speech or a tribute to my very own self in my very own lifetime, let me just say this day in HiStory is very special as there are only 16 days left in the year and most importantly my Birthday!! Thanks to my loving Bro for his superb fashion sense, love the clothes. Thanks to everyone else who took the time to wish me via txt,fb and calls. Also special thanks to Shankar for making a trip all the way from Cali just to wish me!! ;) ;)
Listen up guys and gals, dudes and dudesses, without turning this into an Oscar night speech or a tribute to my very own self in my very own lifetime, let me just say this day in HiStory is very special as there are only 16 days left in the year and most importantly my Birthday!! Thanks to my loving Bro for his superb fashion sense, love the clothes. Thanks to everyone else who took the time to wish me via txt,fb and calls. Also special thanks to Shankar for making a trip all the way from Cali just to wish me!! ;) ;)
My day!!
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009
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This is a recap of the past Friday: Never had I endured so much back pain in my life. I and my accomplice, my beloved (not) Toyota Matrix, were driving along rout 2 aka ritchie highway hopes of getting to work on time on a cold windy day! All of a sudden my Matrix seemed very uneasy in his navigator's seat, glancing over distastefully when he thought my eyes were on the road only. I could tell that he was as worried as I that we would be torn by the shattered beer bottles laid cross on our pathway. Nevertheless his worries came true as I failed to avoid the hurdle.
"Sorry buddy," I told him, he lifted his small nose and looked away. My heart sank knowing that he was so upset with me knowing his back right tire has been injured badly. Soon enough I felt the car sink slowly and as the chassis lowered itself to the ground, so did my heart. I had at least one flat tire, and I am late to work! Well anyway I had to side my injured buddy and myself to the side to see the damaged caused and as rightly guessed I had one complete flat tire and two other damaged!!!
I somehow managed to get the flat changed with my spare and drive the vehicle to work and to the mechanic after work to get all four!!!!! tires changed.. $$$$$$!!! And that night my back muscles decided to take a vacation causing every move to be one hell of a ride! just what I needed! lol
This is a recap of the past Friday: Never had I endured so much back pain in my life. I and my accomplice, my beloved (not) Toyota Matrix, were driving along rout 2 aka ritchie highway hopes of getting to work on time on a cold windy day! All of a sudden my Matrix seemed very uneasy in his navigator's seat, glancing over distastefully when he thought my eyes were on the road only. I could tell that he was as worried as I that we would be torn by the shattered beer bottles laid cross on our pathway. Nevertheless his worries came true as I failed to avoid the hurdle.
"Sorry buddy," I told him, he lifted his small nose and looked away. My heart sank knowing that he was so upset with me knowing his back right tire has been injured badly. Soon enough I felt the car sink slowly and as the chassis lowered itself to the ground, so did my heart. I had at least one flat tire, and I am late to work! Well anyway I had to side my injured buddy and myself to the side to see the damaged caused and as rightly guessed I had one complete flat tire and two other damaged!!!
I somehow managed to get the flat changed with my spare and drive the vehicle to work and to the mechanic after work to get all four!!!!! tires changed.. $$$$$$!!! And that night my back muscles decided to take a vacation causing every move to be one hell of a ride! just what I needed! lol
I think..
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Monday, December 14, 2009
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Per your request some light shown into my thoughts;
Questions: Have you ever wondered? What the major difference is between marriages here(western countries) and marriages back home?
Ans: Yes I have, I think it is simply the understanding of it; explanation as follows:
Most people in the western society marry someone to whom they are romantically involved versus us easterners marry for more practical reasons. Westerners fall in love for they are romantically involved with the other and the problem with that is; romance is nothing but an act of our own internal fantasies! These fantasies are inspired by movies, television, popular songs, novels, magazines and so on. So the chances of these marriages of failing is high comparatively due to the high expectations of someone whom you have already explored!
Back home it simply a process that is needed for physical and mental needs. So the curiosity and need for exploration is high making the time together adventures and hopefully fun! If there is to be any affection, it might develop later as I think it(affection) needs time.
Questions: Have you ever wondered? What the major difference is between marriages here(western countries) and marriages back home?
Ans: Yes I have, I think it is simply the understanding of it; explanation as follows:
Most people in the western society marry someone to whom they are romantically involved versus us easterners marry for more practical reasons. Westerners fall in love for they are romantically involved with the other and the problem with that is; romance is nothing but an act of our own internal fantasies! These fantasies are inspired by movies, television, popular songs, novels, magazines and so on. So the chances of these marriages of failing is high comparatively due to the high expectations of someone whom you have already explored!
Back home it simply a process that is needed for physical and mental needs. So the curiosity and need for exploration is high making the time together adventures and hopefully fun! If there is to be any affection, it might develop later as I think it(affection) needs time.
Hariharan!!
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Sunday, December 6, 2009
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Here, I share a consistent playlist throughout, scoring high on the repeat-listenability scale.. ENJOY Hariharan!!!
"Kaadhalae en kaadhalae enaik kaanikkai thandhuvittaen..soadhanai inith thaevaiyaa sudum moochchinil vendhu vittaen.."
"Doorathu kandal ariyatha bhavam..arikathu vannal athira palkudam..mullulla vakku munayulla nokku..kanatha thellam kanuvan kauthukum"
"Mere khayaalon mein sanam khud se bhi baatein karti hogi na main.. dekhta hoon chhup chhupke tumko mehsoos karti hogi na"
"Kaadhalae en kaadhalae enaik kaanikkai thandhuvittaen..soadhanai inith thaevaiyaa sudum moochchinil vendhu vittaen.."
"Doorathu kandal ariyatha bhavam..arikathu vannal athira palkudam..mullulla vakku munayulla nokku..kanatha thellam kanuvan kauthukum"
"Mere khayaalon mein sanam khud se bhi baatein karti hogi na main.. dekhta hoon chhup chhupke tumko mehsoos karti hogi na"
STOP!!! AIDS
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Tuesday, December 1, 2009
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December 1st - World AIDS Day 2009:
AIDS attacks the body.
PREJUDICE attacks the spirit.
One is caused by a VIRUS.
One is caused by IGNORANCE.
Both can kill!
Here. I show my support for the fight against HIV/AIDS, help raise awareness, and remember those affected by the disease!
AIDS attacks the body.PREJUDICE attacks the spirit.
One is caused by a VIRUS.
One is caused by IGNORANCE.
Both can kill!
P.S. I really adore these advertisements for awareness by Aides, a French community-based non-profit organization.
Mixed up words/thoughts?
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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......ʇuıɯ..lla ym eb ot reh rof ekil I tub ,...tnim-..11ɐ ʎɯ ǝq oʇ ɹǝɥ ɹoɟ ǝʞı1 ı ʇnq ..ǝɟı1 ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ǝʌı1 oʇ ʇuɐʍ sǝɯıʇǝɯos op ıthgir ton eb ot edam ti ebyam ro thgir ton si ti wonk I ..'ʇɥbıɹ ʇou ǝq oʇ ǝpɐɯ ʇı ǝqʎɐɯ ɹo ʇɥbıɹ ʇou sı ʇı ʍouʞ ı efil tnereffid a evil ot tnaw semitemos od I ...
Defensively Truthful!
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Monday, November 23, 2009
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Profess; If I am to be really honest (for the most part) with myself about my relationships, when it comes down to it, (the "truth") I usually want to hear is the one I agree with. I think just the sheer love of expression/communication keeps me motivated. Often times we find love to be a hard subject to write about than hate. Stop: wonder?
I have written in the past and will write it again; I cotinue this blog for one reason, an attempt to keep me foucsed, keep me from making stories which over times becomes the reality I create. How many of us have stoped to recognize that our memories are nothing but stories. Simply because there is two side to everything. I believe that our memories are flawed. We choose what to keep and what to disregard. By nature we judge everything and in essence are always defensive. So the true memory here is lost. It becomes a story.
I think to be truthful in a realtionship is to learn to accept and achknowledge. All it takes is to say "You are right. I can see how you might feel that way although it wasn't my intention"
I have written in the past and will write it again; I cotinue this blog for one reason, an attempt to keep me foucsed, keep me from making stories which over times becomes the reality I create. How many of us have stoped to recognize that our memories are nothing but stories. Simply because there is two side to everything. I believe that our memories are flawed. We choose what to keep and what to disregard. By nature we judge everything and in essence are always defensive. So the true memory here is lost. It becomes a story.
I think to be truthful in a realtionship is to learn to accept and achknowledge. All it takes is to say "You are right. I can see how you might feel that way although it wasn't my intention"
VENOM
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Saturday, November 21, 2009
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Reports are now saying that the Venom movie is in production with Gary Ross set to re-write the script for the film, as well as possibly even direct. There has been no word on whether Topher Grace, who played Eddie Brock in Spider-Man 3 will return to reprise the role.
Ross is currently working on the script for Spider-Man 4, so he isn’t a stranger to the world of spider themed superheroes. Avi Arad and Marvel are also set to produce the film.
Reports are now saying that the Venom movie is in production with Gary Ross set to re-write the script for the film, as well as possibly even direct. There has been no word on whether Topher Grace, who played Eddie Brock in Spider-Man 3 will return to reprise the role.
Ross is currently working on the script for Spider-Man 4, so he isn’t a stranger to the world of spider themed superheroes. Avi Arad and Marvel are also set to produce the film.
2012
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Friday, November 20, 2009
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Please do not waste your time and money with this!! It's got a lot of drama in it that some people actually walked out as it was just toooo long, and the main characters get caught up in some pretty unrealistic situations- like the ground just happens to fall out everywhere but their planes path!
I liked how the writer understands karma.. other than that I'd have to say- probably wait for this on video..
Please do not waste your time and money with this!! It's got a lot of drama in it that some people actually walked out as it was just toooo long, and the main characters get caught up in some pretty unrealistic situations- like the ground just happens to fall out everywhere but their planes path!
I liked how the writer understands karma.. other than that I'd have to say- probably wait for this on video..
Stop!
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Thursday, November 19, 2009
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Common kids!!! It's time to grow up. It's time to stop taking sides and pretending that your favourite side is innocent. It's time for peace. Mostly it's a time for an end to the religious stupidity and shortsightedness that has plagued our world.
Let the man bring about the change that is much needed in this world!!!
Common kids!!! It's time to grow up. It's time to stop taking sides and pretending that your favourite side is innocent. It's time for peace. Mostly it's a time for an end to the religious stupidity and shortsightedness that has plagued our world.
Broken English, Chick flick?
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009
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Is their relationship true love or just another disaster waiting to befall her? Is this a chick flick? Maybe yes maybe not.. There is a good message in the movie hidden deep inside which would be appreciated by all if discovered ;-)
Is their relationship true love or just another disaster waiting to befall her? Is this a chick flick? Maybe yes maybe not.. There is a good message in the movie hidden deep inside which would be appreciated by all if discovered ;-)
Watch Broken English.
Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009
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Il y a longtemps que je t'aime 
I am not going to discuss euthanasia, but the film I sat sown with my brother two nights ago to see teaches me one thing; wheather or not the dying patient is conscious, in order to attain a good death overall, all of the stakeholders who are involved in end-of-life care must feel good about the final outcome. The movie exhibits a well acted drama of a women’s life after 15 years of prison. In over all "I've Loved You So Long" is a terrifically engaging story of a woman's strength, grief and healing as well as an emotional mystery. I am sorry for the spoiler but it should not stop anyone from watching the characters of the movie come to life. However, remember; what is perceived to be good or bad might differ depending on the third party ;)
p/s I would love this movie to be remade in Tamil. I think it has all the essence of Tamilan’s drama. Since it is a heroine oriented subject, I would like to see Lekha Washington & Parvathy Menon or Rohini & Priyamani play the main roles.
Thoda Sukun..
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Sunday, November 1, 2009
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Kabhi tu adh jaaye, Ya ladh jaaye
Ya khushboo se bhara
Tujhe badalna na chahoon
Rati bhar bhi sanam
Bina sajawat milawat
Na zyaada na hi kam
Tuhje chaahon, jaisa hai tu
Mujhe teree barish mein beegna hai ghuljana hai
Tujhe chaahon, jaisa hai tu...
Kabhi tu adh jaaye, Ya ladh jaaye
Ya khushboo se bhara
Tujhe badalna na chahoon
Rati bhar bhi sanam
Bina sajawat milawat
Na zyaada na hi kam
Tuhje chaahon, jaisa hai tu
Mujhe teree barish mein beegna hai ghuljana hai
Tujhe chaahon, jaisa hai tu...
Mon writing updated?
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Friday, October 30, 2009
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Some of you are aware of the book that I have been starting to write. For the others, this post shall be your headlines for the day! ;)
Well, here is the update Rachel; I think this one may actually be finished and possibly published. I’m terrible about starting anything and getting sidetracked. Let’s see I’ve got 2 songs drafted out and still in the very early works for an album that I would like to produce and a book of poetry still to be trimmed, a few pictures that I would like to see in a pictorial publisher, a wooden/metal chariot still in the early construction era and the list goes on. Although I work on them all occasionally, I never seem to be getting much farther than I am now. I feel like I’m running down a long hallway, never getting to the end. *Sigh* Oh and not to forget my search for nothing!
Then again as you and I know that though not right calories even exist!!
Some of you are aware of the book that I have been starting to write. For the others, this post shall be your headlines for the day! ;)
Well, here is the update Rachel; I think this one may actually be finished and possibly published. I’m terrible about starting anything and getting sidetracked. Let’s see I’ve got 2 songs drafted out and still in the very early works for an album that I would like to produce and a book of poetry still to be trimmed, a few pictures that I would like to see in a pictorial publisher, a wooden/metal chariot still in the early construction era and the list goes on. Although I work on them all occasionally, I never seem to be getting much farther than I am now. I feel like I’m running down a long hallway, never getting to the end. *Sigh* Oh and not to forget my search for nothing!
Then again as you and I know that though not right calories even exist!!
This Is It!
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
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Thank you for many things Michael! Always inspired! RIP. At 50, with passion, grace & precision a genius. The movie also showcases a glimpse of his character & personality as he was playful, comedic, loving, sensitive & humbled at times during production.
Makes one wonder; Alive, Michael Jackson was a problem for a few guys. Dead? He's the best investment in the history of the business. You can almost hear them thinking, "Hey! Why didn't we think of this sooner?"
First Show First DAY!!
Last night I saw This Is It, a movie proving he(Michael Jackson) has no equal; precise, specific, motivated, focused, and kind. I just have one word for the movie: SENSATIONAL!!! Sadly I caught myself from realizing that Michael is really gone but will never be forgotten.
Thank you for many things Michael! Always inspired! RIP. At 50, with passion, grace & precision a genius. The movie also showcases a glimpse of his character & personality as he was playful, comedic, loving, sensitive & humbled at times during production. 
Makes one wonder; Alive, Michael Jackson was a problem for a few guys. Dead? He's the best investment in the history of the business. You can almost hear them thinking, "Hey! Why didn't we think of this sooner?"A MUST MUST SEE!!!
Tamarind fever...
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Sunday, October 25, 2009
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Last night, in a fit of boredom with my dissertation reading, I decided I needed to make something.So, I started making the gravy for tamarind rice around 12 am and I finished this morning at 8am. I did go to bed around 2 am, so I really can't say that I stayed up all night making tamarind gravy!!
Since I mentioned; I am going to post my recipe so you can enjoy it too :)
Ingredients :
Water - 2 Cups
Tamarind - 1 1/2 tbl spoon
Sesame seeds - 1/4 Cup
Coriander seeds - 1/4 Cup
Red chillies - 15 Nos
Mustard Seeds - 2 t spoon
Channa dal - 1 t spoon
Urad dal - 1 t spoon
Curry leaves - few
Fenugreek - 2 t spoon
Sesame Oil - 3 tbl spoon
Chilly powder - 1 t spoon
Roasted Peanuts - 1 t spoon
Salt - to taste
a pinch of asafoetida
Method; First soak the tamarind in a cup with warm, then roast the fenugreek, coriander seeds, 4 red chillies, 6 curry leaves, urad dal, channa dal, mustard seeds and sesame seeds and grind it with salt to powder. Then heat the sesame oil in pan, add mustard, channa dal, urad dal, peanuts, red chilies, curry leaves, powder that you had made along with the peanuts and sauté them. Once sauteed add the tamarind, a pinch of asafoetida and salt to taste. Now for the next hour or so you would have to sit right next to the pan and keep stirring it constantly till the tamarind extract reduces its volume and becomes to a thick pulp. Et Voila!! the Tamarind gravy is ready!!
I did not find any canning jars so I recycled a candy jar. I am not trusting it to seal properly so I am storing my tamarind gravy in the refrigerator. Now I need to make some rice to go with it and run to Walmart to get a jar to store my tamarind gravy as it will last me for more than a week!! Now this is called smart cooking ;)
Since I mentioned; I am going to post my recipe so you can enjoy it too :)
Ingredients :
Water - 2 Cups
Tamarind - 1 1/2 tbl spoon
Sesame seeds - 1/4 Cup
Coriander seeds - 1/4 Cup
Red chillies - 15 Nos
Mustard Seeds - 2 t spoon
Channa dal - 1 t spoon
Urad dal - 1 t spoon
Curry leaves - few
Fenugreek - 2 t spoon
Sesame Oil - 3 tbl spoon
Chilly powder - 1 t spoon
Roasted Peanuts - 1 t spoon
Salt - to taste
a pinch of asafoetida
Method; First soak the tamarind in a cup with warm, then roast the fenugreek, coriander seeds, 4 red chillies, 6 curry leaves, urad dal, channa dal, mustard seeds and sesame seeds and grind it with salt to powder. Then heat the sesame oil in pan, add mustard, channa dal, urad dal, peanuts, red chilies, curry leaves, powder that you had made along with the peanuts and sauté them. Once sauteed add the tamarind, a pinch of asafoetida and salt to taste. Now for the next hour or so you would have to sit right next to the pan and keep stirring it constantly till the tamarind extract reduces its volume and becomes to a thick pulp. Et Voila!! the Tamarind gravy is ready!!
I did not find any canning jars so I recycled a candy jar. I am not trusting it to seal properly so I am storing my tamarind gravy in the refrigerator. Now I need to make some rice to go with it and run to Walmart to get a jar to store my tamarind gravy as it will last me for more than a week!! Now this is called smart cooking ;)
Sharing..
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Explore..
I found these few excerpts from some of the books I currently read to be quite interesting so here, I share a few lines;
From "A Second Chance" by Abhay Charan AKA Srila Prabhupada.
"Till the hour of death the mind sustains and supports these forces in the physical body, and when life becomes extinct, the mind envelopes and carries them away. During sleep, however, the vital forces continue to function, although the mind is not manifest. This is according to the divine law and is intended to protect the body and to remove any possible doubt as to whether it is dead or alive while one is asleep. Without such arrangement by nature, sleeping bodies would often be cremated alive. "
From "The Unknown" by Camille Flammarion. This book talks about Scientific and Practical Interpretation of Dreams.
"To dream at night and the following day have the thing dreamed of actually take place, or come before your notice, is not allegorical. It is the higher or spiritual sense living or grasping the immediate future ahead of the physical mind. The spiritual body is always first to come into contact with the approaching future; it is present with it, while still future to the physical body. There is no reason why man should not grasp coming events earlier, only he does not cultivate inner sight as he does his outer senses. The allegorical is used because man weakens his spiritual force by catering to the material senses."
And finally a musical excerpt from Green Fields;
From "A Second Chance" by Abhay Charan AKA Srila Prabhupada.
"Till the hour of death the mind sustains and supports these forces in the physical body, and when life becomes extinct, the mind envelopes and carries them away. During sleep, however, the vital forces continue to function, although the mind is not manifest. This is according to the divine law and is intended to protect the body and to remove any possible doubt as to whether it is dead or alive while one is asleep. Without such arrangement by nature, sleeping bodies would often be cremated alive. "
From "The Unknown" by Camille Flammarion. This book talks about Scientific and Practical Interpretation of Dreams.
"To dream at night and the following day have the thing dreamed of actually take place, or come before your notice, is not allegorical. It is the higher or spiritual sense living or grasping the immediate future ahead of the physical mind. The spiritual body is always first to come into contact with the approaching future; it is present with it, while still future to the physical body. There is no reason why man should not grasp coming events earlier, only he does not cultivate inner sight as he does his outer senses. The allegorical is used because man weakens his spiritual force by catering to the material senses."
And finally a musical excerpt from Green Fields;
"Dear Lord, if indeed I am thine,
If thou art my sun and my song,
Say, why do I languish and pine?
And why are my winters so long?
O drive these dark clouds from my sky,
Thy soul cheering presence restore;
Or take me to thee up on high,
Where winter and clouds are no more."
If thou art my sun and my song,
Say, why do I languish and pine?
And why are my winters so long?
O drive these dark clouds from my sky,
Thy soul cheering presence restore;
Or take me to thee up on high,
Where winter and clouds are no more."
Happy Deepavali!
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Friday, October 16, 2009
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தீபாவளி வாழ்த்துக்கள்!!
Happy Deepavali!
Aapke ghar sukh ki barsat karen, Dukhon ka naas karen...
Happy Deepavali!
Aapke ghar sukh ki barsat karen, Dukhon ka naas karen...
வைட் ஹவுஸ் தீபாவளி
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Thursday, October 15, 2009
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Obama lit a lamp in white house and wished Indian government and Indian people “Happy Diwali and Saal Mubarak”.
“This coming Saturday, Hindus, Jains, Sikhs and some Buddhists, here in America and around the world, will celebrate this holiday by lighting diyas, or lamps, which symbolise the victory of light over darkness, and knowledge over ignorance, and while this is a time of rejoicing, it’s also a time for reflection, when we remember those who are less fortunate and renew our commitment to reach out to those in need,”
“Thank you Mr President for being the first president to come to the Diwali ceremony,” a journalist called out to Obama. “Yeah, isn’t that something?”
Obama brings Diwali celebrations to the White House!
jObama lit a lamp in white house and wished Indian government and Indian people “Happy Diwali and Saal Mubarak”.
“This coming Saturday, Hindus, Jains, Sikhs and some Buddhists, here in America and around the world, will celebrate this holiday by lighting diyas, or lamps, which symbolise the victory of light over darkness, and knowledge over ignorance, and while this is a time of rejoicing, it’s also a time for reflection, when we remember those who are less fortunate and renew our commitment to reach out to those in need,”
“Thank you Mr President for being the first president to come to the Diwali ceremony,” a journalist called out to Obama. “Yeah, isn’t that something?”
Musically
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Saturday, October 10, 2009
Explore..
It's been a while since I have shared a tune with you guys. As soon as these songs hit my memory inbox I just knew I had to share and hope you'll love it as much as I do. Those songs here stand out synth lines becoming emotional signature mixed in with a bit of a breakdown half way through ;) Music just continues to grow and grow... I cant wait to hear more and more.. your thoughts too ;)
Kannirandum imaikkaamal paarthen;
En kannodu kanneerai vidaithaai..
Oh you played me dirty, your game was so bad;
You toyed with my affliction;
Had to fill out my prescription;
Found the remedy, I had to set you free..
Moray piya.
Tu na samjha;
Main iss duniya ka naa thhaa..
Khoya dil khoyi raton mein dhoondhoon main kya..
J'ai dans le cœur comme un poids;
Dans la gorge une épine;
De n'avoir fait le choix..
Kannirandum imaikkaamal paarthen;
En kannodu kanneerai vidaithaai..
Oh you played me dirty, your game was so bad;
You toyed with my affliction;
Had to fill out my prescription;
Found the remedy, I had to set you free..
Moray piya.
Tu na samjha;
Main iss duniya ka naa thhaa..
Khoya dil khoyi raton mein dhoondhoon main kya..
J'ai dans le cœur comme un poids;
Dans la gorge une épine;
De n'avoir fait le choix..
Forwarding..
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Saturday, October 3, 2009
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Here is the content of my email I sent you a while back;
what is Trust? I think it is basically a collection of past/memories which is later justified with benefits in mind to create the feeling we call trust. But when you think about it how accurate is one person's memory? We only remember the best in everything or the worst in everything. All I am saying is - that collection of memories alone should not be the reason when deciding. If only all our wishes came true then there'd be no pain no hurts, no betrayals. But it does not happen…so the best we can do is enjoy the risks don't be afraid to fall. We all start out as strangers after all ..even the darkness can become a friend when you learn enough to see how you can bend it.
I know some things are dark reflection, some things are how we feel, some things deserve inspection, some things are just! I think it is crucial to remember that one cannot know all and everything about someone before hand. Think about it, how well do you know yourself? Your family? Try to see if you can manage to make your way all the way through your house without bumping into anything in pitch dark; silent testimony to how well you know. Never plan the future by the past as this franticness serves as a smoke screen, preventing us from ever dealing with Who We Really Are.. Healing begins within us. It begins with a thought, a vision, a feeling of willingness, willingness to put the past behind when judging.
It's easy to blame time and it is partly to blame. But there's plenty to go around. Blame aside, we are ultimately responsible for the choices that we make. It's a good thing God takes us from where we are. If he waited until we got it right, eternity wouldn't be enough time!! I believe in myself, and also believe in what I do to someone today will one day comeback to me. As always keep smiling :) :)
what is Trust? I think it is basically a collection of past/memories which is later justified with benefits in mind to create the feeling we call trust. But when you think about it how accurate is one person's memory? We only remember the best in everything or the worst in everything. All I am saying is - that collection of memories alone should not be the reason when deciding. If only all our wishes came true then there'd be no pain no hurts, no betrayals. But it does not happen…so the best we can do is enjoy the risks don't be afraid to fall. We all start out as strangers after all ..even the darkness can become a friend when you learn enough to see how you can bend it.
I know some things are dark reflection, some things are how we feel, some things deserve inspection, some things are just! I think it is crucial to remember that one cannot know all and everything about someone before hand. Think about it, how well do you know yourself? Your family? Try to see if you can manage to make your way all the way through your house without bumping into anything in pitch dark; silent testimony to how well you know. Never plan the future by the past as this franticness serves as a smoke screen, preventing us from ever dealing with Who We Really Are.. Healing begins within us. It begins with a thought, a vision, a feeling of willingness, willingness to put the past behind when judging.
It's easy to blame time and it is partly to blame. But there's plenty to go around. Blame aside, we are ultimately responsible for the choices that we make. It's a good thing God takes us from where we are. If he waited until we got it right, eternity wouldn't be enough time!! I believe in myself, and also believe in what I do to someone today will one day comeback to me. As always keep smiling :) :)
My errings..
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Sunday, September 27, 2009
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I think a lot of men just see a woman's tears as something to be fixed but not understood. Although I intensely dislike crying in front of others as it is very intimate and sharing vulnerability is not my cup of tea. It could be because of my male egoistic nature finding difficulty in sharing that tender, vulnerable part of myself.
From my experience I believe that women are a lot more expressive and emotionally in touch with their inner self than most men, a few exceptions. I, for the most part is least concerned about how others perceive me but to look weak in the eyes of my peers. But that does not rule out the fact that I have fears and feel weak when encountered by them.
The last time I cried was when I felt betrayed, more because it meant confining someone I dreamed a future with. The momentum of betrayal did not hit hard till after. The tears was mostly because I felt weak and lost at the thought of she leaving me. What I failed to notice at that time was she had cried before and I never saw the reasons for it thus my tears later!
If only, I hadnot seen her crying as an act which should be fixed but not to be understood, maybe my life would be different now. But I believe in what Oliver Wendell Holmes said; "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." I have now understood that sometimes emotions are associated with relief and I need to acknowledge it not just find a way to fix it!
From my experience I believe that women are a lot more expressive and emotionally in touch with their inner self than most men, a few exceptions. I, for the most part is least concerned about how others perceive me but to look weak in the eyes of my peers. But that does not rule out the fact that I have fears and feel weak when encountered by them.
The last time I cried was when I felt betrayed, more because it meant confining someone I dreamed a future with. The momentum of betrayal did not hit hard till after. The tears was mostly because I felt weak and lost at the thought of she leaving me. What I failed to notice at that time was she had cried before and I never saw the reasons for it thus my tears later!
If only, I had
Happy 21st Birthday Bro
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Friday, September 25, 2009
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Happy Birthday to you my brother, finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since 15!!! ;) 
Even though I still look at u as my lil baby bro, I’m soooo proud of the great man you’ve grown into. Enjoy your 21st Birthday Sayanthan!!!
Even though I still look at u as my lil baby bro, I’m soooo proud of the great man you’ve grown into. Enjoy your 21st Birthday Sayanthan!!!p/s: My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. lol
You First!
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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
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Sorry to those who find this boring, but I have to bring this subject back again, as the blog is primarily for my own progression and pleasure! Anyway I have noticed most of the people I know often have great difficulty in talking about their needs and wants. It is often as if they are struggling against some internal prohibition that forbids them from knowing or stating what their deepest needs and wants are. Well, how can we live or act effectively without knowing them??
First let see why is this so? Maybe because as children we received parental messages that amounted to, "Listen, son, here is how it is. Life is not about you. Life is not about what you need or want or feel. It is about what other people what other people need, feel or want. You don't really matter."...Or maybe it is the we may experience certain desires that clash with our elf-concept, and so we deny and disown them. For example, a grown man's need for physical nurturing, for simple holding and stroking may be denied because it clashes with his idea of manliness and autonomy.
But either way I think we need to put that concept behind us and be open about everything! As this outdated idea about what our needs are seems to bury our real important needs. And this affects our feelings and behavior in ways we do not recognize.Take for example the need for physical touch may show up as compulsive sexual promiscuity, since sex is the only acceptable form of physical touch. Or the need for understanding and visibility that is a child's birthright may show up in an adult's obsession with being pleasing and popular, often in ways that are humiliating and offensive to self-esteem. I know it is not easy to understand what I am trying to convince here, especially to the folks of my kind, Desi's but oh well I think it is about time we change!
To treat needs and wants with respect, to fight for one's deepest longings, to take those longings seriously is a formidable and frightening challenge. People give away pieces of their soul in order to escape responsibility or to "belong." They are expert at self-surrender and self-sacrifice. Then in defiant resentment, often not knowing who or what they are defying, they become selfish, not in any noble or intelligent way but in the narrow and petty sense. Honoring one's true wants can be not an act of self-indulgence but an act of courage!
BM - AM
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Before Marriage:
He: At last, Yes It was so hard to wait!
She: Do you want to leave me?
He: No, Don’t even think about it!
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No, why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy, I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes!
She: Darling!
Eid Mubarak
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Monday, September 21, 2009
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Taqabbalallâhu minnâ wa minkum
May this beautiful day keep all of us in a ever smiling frame of happiness. My hearty wishes goes to each and every soul who celebrates. Especially for you; Faridah, Ishak, Kiran, Shadab, Fatima, Rehana, Seyed Ali Moulana, Syma, Rama, Abdhul and all your families : )
Unnai Pol Oruvan
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Friday, September 18, 2009
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Last night I saw Unnai Pol Oruvan, First day first show!!! The movie is neat and crisp. It does not revolve around Kamal or Mohanlal only but all of its characters. I am yet to see A Wednesday, a more detailed review after seeing the original will be posted in the coming weeks.
But I just wanted to touch base on the psychological aspect of the film/characters. Though the movie is not trying to support terrorism in the core it does stimulate a thought along those lines. Dr. Kamal Haasan in the later part of the movie justifies his action with an incident from the past. By this the movie is trying to suggest that not all terrorist fight against real enemies; with their unconscious anger they fight against old psychological wounds from past betrayals. It wasn’t political injustice alone that hurt these individuals, it was fraud—intellectual and emotional fraud.
I am curious to see the Hindi version and the Tamil a few more times before I come back with a detailed review of my perspective of the movie. Overall I enjoyed the movie and obviously Kamal! One of my fav scenes, is when Kamal at the end of it all showcases the fear in every common man who at some point is pushed to do some extreme activities. His body language at that one specific scene is the signature of his caliber.
But I just wanted to touch base on the psychological aspect of the film/characters. Though the movie is not trying to support terrorism in the core it does stimulate a thought along those lines. Dr. Kamal Haasan in the later part of the movie justifies his action with an incident from the past. By this the movie is trying to suggest that not all terrorist fight against real enemies; with their unconscious anger they fight against old psychological wounds from past betrayals. It wasn’t political injustice alone that hurt these individuals, it was fraud—intellectual and emotional fraud.
I am curious to see the Hindi version and the Tamil a few more times before I come back with a detailed review of my perspective of the movie. Overall I enjoyed the movie and obviously Kamal! One of my fav scenes, is when Kamal at the end of it all showcases the fear in every common man who at some point is pushed to do some extreme activities. His body language at that one specific scene is the signature of his caliber.
Note: Do I think the movie would be a success?
Maybe not as big as Dasavatharam.
But it is a must see!
Maybe not as big as Dasavatharam.
But it is a must see!
MyTouch 3G
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Thursday, September 10, 2009
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My new ringer... some specs below;
* Battery: Li - Ion, 1340 mAh
* Camera: 3.2 megapixels Resolution
* Internet: Full HTML Browser
* Network: GSM Quad-band phone capable of global roaming (850/900/1800/1900 MHz) UMTS dual-band global 3G (1700/2100 MHz)
* OS: Android
* Resolution: 320 x 480 pixels
* Size: 4.45 x 2.19 x 0.58 inches (113 x 56 x 15 mm)
* Standby: 600 hours (25 days) of Stand-by time
* Talk: 6 hours (360 mins) of Talk time
* Touch Screen: 3.2-inches
* Voice: Dialing, Commands, Recording, Speaker Phone
* Battery: Li - Ion, 1340 mAh
* Camera: 3.2 megapixels Resolution
* Internet: Full HTML Browser
* Network: GSM Quad-band phone capable of global roaming (850/900/1800/1900 MHz) UMTS dual-band global 3G (1700/2100 MHz)
* OS: Android
* Resolution: 320 x 480 pixels
* Size: 4.45 x 2.19 x 0.58 inches (113 x 56 x 15 mm)
* Standby: 600 hours (25 days) of Stand-by time
* Talk: 6 hours (360 mins) of Talk time
* Touch Screen: 3.2-inches
* Voice: Dialing, Commands, Recording, Speaker Phone
Finitude
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Monday, September 7, 2009
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My introduction to killing ignorance ~ I realized I am self-willed, addicted to control and self-pleasure, and unwilling to properly steward the relationships and opportunities "religious" God places in my life. I questioned my place at the temple this Sunday, attempting to leave a few times before God exposed my pride and youthful arrogance and called me to submit to the place he had called me to. The place to share love and love only!
When do I realize the finitude of my time/existence? I wonder; is it when I die someday and be a part of memory of the ones I love? They all will die someday and all memory of Jegan in this world will die with them. Is that the extent of my presence here?
Finitude and transcendence are both only fully realized when an individual engages with others. This dialectic position cannot be taught, in the same way a deep and practical understanding of purusarthas more specifically, Kama cannot be taught. This position allows two individuals to engage one another as equals, to see where the limitations of those specific circumstances arise and to understand how the limitations can be overcome.
But then we live past purusarthas, an example; take a teacher, by our common conception, does not engage a student as an equal and this lack of mutual reciprocity between the two is what stands in the way of purusarthas being a teachable concept. Thus creating the end to Self realization at a very early age. There is sorrow in finitude. The Self is beyond time, space and objects. It is infinite and hence of the nature of absolute happiness. And I need to practice my true being.
Quoting Adi Sankaracharya; "What is enquiry into the Truth? It is the firm conviction that the Self is real, and all, other than that, is unreal."
We, humans are job-assigning creatures. We will even assign jobs to Gods! But it is because we fail to realize the Self, we never complete the assigned job or realize it even! Instead we held happiness in acquiring/conquering the tamas. I need to examines the limitations and possibilities that emerge from the interaction between intellectual and interpersonal relationships. This, I hope is one way to realize Self. Here, the body and the soul needs Self realization!
Once again to quote Adi Sankaracharya; "Knowing that I am different from the body, I need not neglect the body. It is a vehicle that I use to transact with the world. It is the temple which houses the Pure Self within."
When do I realize the finitude of my time/existence? I wonder; is it when I die someday and be a part of memory of the ones I love? They all will die someday and all memory of Jegan in this world will die with them. Is that the extent of my presence here?
Finitude and transcendence are both only fully realized when an individual engages with others. This dialectic position cannot be taught, in the same way a deep and practical understanding of purusarthas more specifically, Kama cannot be taught. This position allows two individuals to engage one another as equals, to see where the limitations of those specific circumstances arise and to understand how the limitations can be overcome.
But then we live past purusarthas, an example; take a teacher, by our common conception, does not engage a student as an equal and this lack of mutual reciprocity between the two is what stands in the way of purusarthas being a teachable concept. Thus creating the end to Self realization at a very early age. There is sorrow in finitude. The Self is beyond time, space and objects. It is infinite and hence of the nature of absolute happiness. And I need to practice my true being.Quoting Adi Sankaracharya; "What is enquiry into the Truth? It is the firm conviction that the Self is real, and all, other than that, is unreal."
We, humans are job-assigning creatures. We will even assign jobs to Gods! But it is because we fail to realize the Self, we never complete the assigned job or realize it even! Instead we held happiness in acquiring/conquering the tamas. I need to examines the limitations and possibilities that emerge from the interaction between intellectual and interpersonal relationships. This, I hope is one way to realize Self. Here, the body and the soul needs Self realization!
Once again to quote Adi Sankaracharya; "Knowing that I am different from the body, I need not neglect the body. It is a vehicle that I use to transact with the world. It is the temple which houses the Pure Self within."
Unnai Pol Oruthi
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I'm talking about the kind of greatness that comes along after a child blows her parents minds by playing Beethoven's 9th on the piano before she can walk - no, I'm not talking about Shruti Rajalakshmi Hassan , she only wishes. Yet it's not unlike the affect she will have on our musical listening futures after you let her vocals wrap themselves around your hearts. Yes, I am referring to her rendition of "Vaanam Ellai... Illai" a duet with Blaaze! Hip-hop listeners get ready to Jam!
As for the other songs from Unnai Pol Oruvan, "Allah Jane" features elegantly swaying hooks that have kept me from leaving this song's blissful embrace for the last hour. With it's mystical/middle eastern rhythm and Kamal Hassan's soulful ( he sounds like ARR at times ) perfection takes me a prisoner. There is also a female version of the same by Shruthi, I need to listen to it more.
"Nilai Varuma", with some rather lo-fi percussion and to be honest, what I enjoy the most about this particular songs thus far is the use of electric guitar. I've heard a few other Tamil songs with EG and none of them have used it to such importance.
Then you have the title song Unnai Pol Oruvan, again lots of EG. I like the progression of this song, like when the chorus build up pulls out they distance the vocals, and as the song comes towards the end they bring them back up and consequently closer to the listener. I enjoyed it.
This particular album has a halting stutter to the vocal delivery and really interesting production. A very hard rock feel, something that somehow I was not expecting even Shruti seems to be a rocker gal!
I'm talking about the kind of greatness that comes along after a child blows her parents minds by playing Beethoven's 9th on the piano before she can walk - no, I'm not talking about Shruti Rajalakshmi Hassan , she only wishes. Yet it's not unlike the affect she will have on our musical listening futures after you let her vocals wrap themselves around your hearts. Yes, I am referring to her rendition of "Vaanam Ellai... Illai" a duet with Blaaze! Hip-hop listeners get ready to Jam!
As for the other songs from Unnai Pol Oruvan, "Allah Jane" features elegantly swaying hooks that have kept me from leaving this song's blissful embrace for the last hour. With it's mystical/middle eastern rhythm and Kamal Hassan's soulful ( he sounds like ARR at times ) perfection takes me a prisoner. There is also a female version of the same by Shruthi, I need to listen to it more.
"Nilai Varuma", with some rather lo-fi percussion and to be honest, what I enjoy the most about this particular songs thus far is the use of electric guitar. I've heard a few other Tamil songs with EG and none of them have used it to such importance.
Then you have the title song Unnai Pol Oruvan, again lots of EG. I like the progression of this song, like when the chorus build up pulls out they distance the vocals, and as the song comes towards the end they bring them back up and consequently closer to the listener. I enjoyed it.
This particular album has a halting stutter to the vocal delivery and really interesting production. A very hard rock feel, something that somehow I was not expecting even Shruti seems to be a rocker gal!
Rambling Languages..
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Monday, August 31, 2009
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Tera pyaar to jitna hai rahega utna
Na kuch kam na kuch zyada... kitna..
I cannot walk away..'cuz I'm addicted to that one last try
to satisfy hearts strings like moth to thy flame..
Na kuch kam na kuch zyada... kitna..
I cannot walk away..'cuz I'm addicted to that one last try
to satisfy hearts strings like moth to thy flame..
Vd; eP “I love you” nrhy;tNjapy;iy vd;;wha;?
mJ nrhy;ypj; njupaNtz;baJ my;y..
nrhy;yhky; GupaNtz;baJ vd;gjhy;!
Remembering Michael's Birthday
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Saturday, August 29, 2009
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You have inspired me to never give up on dreams, hope, life, and love. He has given me a gift that no other person in music has given me and that is all the love, and joy and hard work that he puts into his music. That when ever you hear a song you love to dance to and sing to and just have fun, that is what I see in Michael Jackson he puts all that and makes magic and dreams come to life. He has given me all that to make my dreams come true and that is to become a lover of all just like him, never giving up.
Never again to see Michael’s smile light up the skies.
Never again to see him moonwalk across the stage as his fans cries.
Never again to hear him sing Don't Stop Till You Get Enough!
To the roaring sound of his fans’..
Happy Birthday Michael!
Never again to see him moonwalk across the stage as his fans cries.
Never again to hear him sing Don't Stop Till You Get Enough!
To the roaring sound of his fans’..
Happy Birthday Michael!
You have inspired me to never give up on dreams, hope, life, and love. He has given me a gift that no other person in music has given me and that is all the love, and joy and hard work that he puts into his music. That when ever you hear a song you love to dance to and sing to and just have fun, that is what I see in Michael Jackson he puts all that and makes magic and dreams come to life. He has given me all that to make my dreams come true and that is to become a lover of all just like him, never giving up.
Controlled!?
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Monday, August 10, 2009
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When someone tells me that I'm really smart; I love it! Then someone else tells me that I'm dumb. I get upset and find it so hard to be outsmarted. I wondered why?
Maybe because at the end of the day I know I'm smart, but find it hard to realize that there are people who will outsmart me and that they always wanted to be ahead of me. So then I realize my life is like a competition, I'm controlled by this competition.
So are you! Our competition starts from the reproductive tract..still controlled!?
Maybe because at the end of the day I know I'm smart, but find it hard to realize that there are people who will outsmart me and that they always wanted to be ahead of me. So then I realize my life is like a competition, I'm controlled by this competition.
So are you! Our competition starts from the reproductive tract..still controlled!?
J'ai besoin de vous ici avec moi..
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Explore..
I wait not for the one who makes me take a second look, but for the one who makes me never want to look away in the first place...
Exciting emotions.. beautiful song..
Listen to Daniel Bedingfield here:
If youre not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If youre not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call ?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?
If youre not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call ?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?
My beautiful poem...
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Thursday, August 6, 2009
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Alone, in the pitch dark;
Lost my way, I ponder of her;
Her face, her smile, her eyes;
Divinity in motion;
All that I wish now;
To see her again;
As she is the only one;
Who really matters to me.
I think of her all the time;
Hoping, one day I will call her mine.
At night when I'm alone,
I tend to think about her.
Asking myself constantly-
why cant life be different?
If life were different,
we would be happy together.
If comparing her to anyone else,
she always comes out above.
Her beauty and elegance,
are that of my poem;
though expressive not fully appreciated!
Now I'm sleeping,
and what does my dream consist of?
Not of her beauty,
but of her love.
Tomorrow will be the same,
another lonely night.
Wanting so badly,
to hold her tight.
My beautiful poem!
Lost my way, I ponder of her;
Her face, her smile, her eyes;
Divinity in motion;
All that I wish now;
To see her again;
As she is the only one;
Who really matters to me.
I think of her all the time;
Hoping, one day I will call her mine.
At night when I'm alone,
I tend to think about her.
Asking myself constantly-
why cant life be different?
If life were different,
we would be happy together.
If comparing her to anyone else,
she always comes out above.
Her beauty and elegance,
are that of my poem;
though expressive not fully appreciated!
Now I'm sleeping,
and what does my dream consist of?
Not of her beauty,
but of her love.
Tomorrow will be the same,
another lonely night.
Wanting so badly,
to hold her tight.
My beautiful poem!
Overcome..
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Tuesday, August 4, 2009
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"Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day" - bible .. I am!
Initiation
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Sunday, July 26, 2009
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I have in the past acknowledged in human endeavors, even the most altruistic actions and nurturing behavior stem from the ego of the doer. A simple and easily acceptable example would be; A mother nurtures her child because her ego is stroked by the title of being a mother and she wants to be proud of the work she will do with that child. So, I am not going to differ from what I have agreed to be a good quality of mine but just reiterate the fact that there is a limit. I, over the course of my self studying years have realized some treats to play a vital role to be virtuous human being. They are as follows; self-love first, self-transcendence, self-actualization to find self-fulfillment and realize one's potential with constructive self-criticism, altruism, self-freedom, creativity, awareness of our existential predicament, glimpses of joy, happiness and fulfillment.
Now, I believe I do not have to repeat an explanation to point out how ego plays a role in each and every treats mentioned above. But the problem is I find it hard to apply my new way of living, for I am yet to realize the point where I can draw the very thin line of nurturing ego. But, my first line gives me hope...
ps: thanks to calimafia aka self proclaimed issai tsunami ;) for helping us attain our search...
Continuation of my consummating (re)write (self) up... I experience the ease I've had to preach but difficulty I have in practicing the initiation of my private beginning of a new life installment. The endowment of my soul of all remembered emotions and aspirations and so it speaks to the future and the past in present. The Initiation doesn’t necessarily make you a “better person”. No matter how magically talented one may become, certain traits will remain. This inner process of re-inventing myself is uniquely my own. I must channel my own anxiety, meaninglessness, and despair defiantly into my own distinctive designs-of-being. I, then become non-reproducible mortal with never-repeatable live.
I have in the past acknowledged in human endeavors, even the most altruistic actions and nurturing behavior stem from the ego of the doer. A simple and easily acceptable example would be; A mother nurtures her child because her ego is stroked by the title of being a mother and she wants to be proud of the work she will do with that child. So, I am not going to differ from what I have agreed to be a good quality of mine but just reiterate the fact that there is a limit. I, over the course of my self studying years have realized some treats to play a vital role to be virtuous human being. They are as follows; self-love first, self-transcendence, self-actualization to find self-fulfillment and realize one's potential with constructive self-criticism, altruism, self-freedom, creativity, awareness of our existential predicament, glimpses of joy, happiness and fulfillment.
Now, I believe I do not have to repeat an explanation to point out how ego plays a role in each and every treats mentioned above. But the problem is I find it hard to apply my new way of living, for I am yet to realize the point where I can draw the very thin line of nurturing ego. But, my first line gives me hope...
ps: thanks to calimafia aka self proclaimed issai tsunami ;) for helping us attain our search...
SX10 IS
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Saturday, July 25, 2009
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Now, on to my reasoning:
- 20X optical zoom ( wide 28 - 560 mm )
- IS
- Solid build
- Images, range, sensitivity, reaction speed
- Lots of settings
- Good video, "zoomable", & w/stereo sound
- Face Detect
- Large swivel LCD screen
- EVF
- Flash range
- Hotshoe
- AA Battries
PowerShot A80
PowerShot G6 
Rebel XTI DSLR 
SX10 IS
Canon, SX10 IS
It will be easy to see where Canon’s quality comes from; the consistency in their lineup. For instance, the Digic II processor that is at the heart of their $5000 models is the same processor that is at the heart of their $200 models. And then you have the lens technology that has followed Canon cameras into the digital age. I recently pulled a sweet deal on their Mega zoom, Wide angle camera, SX10 IS.- 20X optical zoom ( wide 28 - 560 mm )
- IS
- Solid build
- Images, range, sensitivity, reaction speed
- Lots of settings
- Good video, "zoomable", & w/stereo sound
- Face Detect
- Large swivel LCD screen
- EVF
- Flash range
- Hotshoe
- AA Battries
A proud Canon owner of
PowerShot A80
PowerShot G6 
Rebel XTI DSLR 
SX10 IS
Cultivating God
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Thursday, July 16, 2009
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I am sure I caught your attention with the title of this post. But before we go into the subject, I would like to simply put in words the reasons for this post. In recent times, I have been keenly determined to find the reason for my existence in this world. I am not declaring my thirst to be a yogi (Sanskrit term for a male practitioner, who has renounced the world and leads an ascetic life) as I still can’t let go of my desires. But Just! I believe desire is the cause of every existence. Thus, indicating that the reason for my existence is also a cause. So, in my case my parents desire (the cause) to have a child (the effect) brought me to the world. This suggests that every cause has an effect and every effect is the cause of something else. But now I need to know what that something else is. As it (something else) was the cause of the effect that leads me to my question. Did I confuse you already?? If you are still with me read on:
I believe in order to solve a problem; one must first, find the source of the problem. Then it can be easily solved for good. So, to solve my question, I have to find the source. So far I have learned that everything exists in this world because of a cause. Every cause has an effect and every effect is the cause of something else. My parents’ cause (desire) and effect (I). But what caused my parents desire? At this point I would like to quote the author of “The Science of Getting Rich”, Wallace Wattles; “All desire is either possibility seeking expression or function seeking performance."
Naturally my next question is what is the cause of possibility and function or function seeking performance? As a result of my continued search for cause, I choose to believe that there is an ultimate intelligence from which all possibility, function, desire, and intention arise, and it is from this intention that all things in the universe manifest. You might call this Hunab Ku, Jesus, Tao, Brahma, or Allah... You might call this the unified atom of energy and matter. It doesn't matter what you call it, or if you call it at all....
Et Viola! I (believe) have found the source of my problem! God. So all I have to do now is ask God; Why was I created? But, who is God? Where is God? The search continues... We humans have a very strong system which teaches us to find a remedy for any issue with an alternate and care less to find out why it even aroused. Al though it is not entirely wrong and eliminates the issue temporally, it is never a permanent fix. Have you ever wondered why we go thru a cycle of happiness and sadness? And not one where there is only happiness or sadness? Well, I think it is because we don’t solve a problem by getting to the core. If God, an ultimate power, one can’t see, hear, taste or smell is the core cause then there would never be a problem again, right? I am not suggesting there is no God, as I said earlier there is an ultimate force. So, what is it that I am doing wrong?
I had a mislead idea of God. If only I had realized earlier, that the ultimate force creating the cause and the effect in and around me is nothing but me, I would have found the solution much earlier. So, why do I claim I am my God? It is because; all my happiness and sadness are a direct effect of my cause in this world. I am given the opportunity to explore, learn, seek, create and experience the many wonders in life. How I choose to spend my days is ultimately up to myself; my choices. The power of mind or emotions is far above the physical power. The finite alone can readily be comprehended, by the sense-organs, the mind and the intellect of man, at his present “state” of consciousness. Take love for example; I crave a lover who can slip inside my mind; ideally, someone who has not only heard of my every trauma and triumph from birth, but also experienced them with me. I want to unburden myself with an admirer who knows my darkest/deepest secrets, yet delights in me with unswerving devotion. In reality there can’t be anyone but me! I would like to quote a saying I have heard my grand mother say; “You may search the universe for someone more worthy of your love and affection than you are to yourself but such a person does not exist.” And I would bet my life for this would be the same with you.
Until my beliefs, thoughts, and intentions were in alignment with the natural laws and the principles of this world I continued to be behind the dust of ignorance. I am what I think I am. All that I am arises with my thoughts. With my thoughts, I make my world. I live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. I am that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all. This is I, Jegathpriyan!
Ok, so now to the title subject; Cultivating God essentially means cultivating me. Why? Because, I still don’t have an answer to my question. Now, let’s take a look at what I mean by cultivating me:
It is the process I am in now, to know, I am the cause of my fear, stress, anger, jealousy, sexual tension or frustration, how to control my mind and emotions and how to direct all my life into a truly loving direction. To love is to will good to another for your sake. By doing so I am giving unconditional love to everyone as I understand and acknowledge that it is for my own sake.
Now, you may ask; what does giving unconditional love to everyone for my own sake do in return to the society? Well, others don’t know the motive of my love but just the fact that I am sharing my love, my unconditional love to them and feels pushed to share a similar habit. In case you have not noticed, we humans are for the most part blind followers of something. Some of which are religion, culture, media or your neighbor next door. It has been stripping away our individuality! Our individuality which tells us only one thing to follow in life, ourselves! The choices we make in our lives. Therefore I need to start from the cause of my choices, what makes a choice?
At this juncture, as an example, I would like to reprise an account of my life. I do not need to tell you that in life, change is constant. Things are always dissolving, diluting, dying. Thus one can either race against time in an effort to accomplish as much as possible "squeeze it all in" which can be fun and exhilarating but ultimately can wear you out. Or ride life’s ever-charging flow by learning to relax, surrender, and let go, you realize that stillness is a magnet for contentment. What ever that you choose when it comes to friendship, I think that by not telling your friend how you really feel, you are doing a great disservice to yourself and your friendship. Well, I was once befriended by an individual who wanted to be a friend of everyone. Al though to be friends with everyone is good, one also has to be well aware of the fact that "labeling" is what everyone does. If you want to be a friend of everyone...you will end up being a friend of no one. .If you’re sacrificing yourself for friendships which would never exist if you hadn’t changed your personality, are these friendships worth having? Personally I am not willing to sacrifice myself in the name of extending my circle of friends. I’ve come to realize that perhaps there are people who’ll never see eye-to-eye, who’ll never be able to be your true friends. I understand this to be an unending debate. For friendship is; compromise as much as self-worth is individuality. The important point here is “compromise as much as self-worth is individuality” well, this past friend of mine failed to realize that. Thus causing erupts between us and others.
As I said earlier, my mislead life made me make a choice to leave him and not be the friend he needed to realize what he was doing wrong. Thus, a port of connection between me and my surrounding was lost. If I had only shared love with him and helped him see the person in him, his own self, we would have still be friends and making a good change in the environment we live in a more efficient manner. The problem I had was I was looking for happiness in a person; not to say that is unhealthy but the problem was I expected someone else to make me happy. By doing so I set my self up to be hurt because of my expectations! As our natural state of mind is generally self-centered, we tend to seek love that is visionary. By saying that I mean often times one wants to be welcomed when coming in and wants to be received. Physical (self) love.
But again, selfishness is exactly the problem that we have as people. One of the problems that we have when somebody brings correction to us, we tend to imagine that correction as so out of the ordinary, so unusual, so above and beyond what’s appropriate. And it’s very difficult often for us to receive correction because we tend to camp out in a sense that, “Hey, I’m doing pretty well and I’m trying hard.” And of course we really underline the phrase, “I’m trying hard.” So when some criticism comes against us, there’s an offense because we say, “Well you don’t see how hard I’m trying and you’re just making this cut and dry statement criticizing me and...” So we tend to operate out of selfishness and selfishness means self-interest. To doubt is human, and all of us at some time or the other have experienced irrational doubts. But instead of succumbing to your doubts, learn from them by resolving. I did not obviously learn to resolve a problem like I would do now till recently. So, a friend was lost.
To cultivate-self is like when I build a house for me and my family. The porches or verandas are all without, and are secondary. The building is really constructed for the conveniences within, because I am the primary (GOD). Never the less the building is as important as me for our existence so I need to realize the magnitude of my well being for the building and I to stand together! Pause: When God (self, I) interacts with my prayers draws me into deeper trust, dependence, and obedience; I get introduced to sin that I need to confront. I recognize patterns of behavior I need to break. I gain insights into which I am that I didn't have before. I discover a depth of relationship with God that I've never before experienced. But it is never enough!!!!
I believe in order to solve a problem; one must first, find the source of the problem. Then it can be easily solved for good. So, to solve my question, I have to find the source. So far I have learned that everything exists in this world because of a cause. Every cause has an effect and every effect is the cause of something else. My parents’ cause (desire) and effect (I). But what caused my parents desire? At this point I would like to quote the author of “The Science of Getting Rich”, Wallace Wattles; “All desire is either possibility seeking expression or function seeking performance."
Naturally my next question is what is the cause of possibility and function or function seeking performance? As a result of my continued search for cause, I choose to believe that there is an ultimate intelligence from which all possibility, function, desire, and intention arise, and it is from this intention that all things in the universe manifest. You might call this Hunab Ku, Jesus, Tao, Brahma, or Allah... You might call this the unified atom of energy and matter. It doesn't matter what you call it, or if you call it at all....
Et Viola! I (believe) have found the source of my problem! God. So all I have to do now is ask God; Why was I created? But, who is God? Where is God? The search continues... We humans have a very strong system which teaches us to find a remedy for any issue with an alternate and care less to find out why it even aroused. Al though it is not entirely wrong and eliminates the issue temporally, it is never a permanent fix. Have you ever wondered why we go thru a cycle of happiness and sadness? And not one where there is only happiness or sadness? Well, I think it is because we don’t solve a problem by getting to the core. If God, an ultimate power, one can’t see, hear, taste or smell is the core cause then there would never be a problem again, right? I am not suggesting there is no God, as I said earlier there is an ultimate force. So, what is it that I am doing wrong?
I had a mislead idea of God. If only I had realized earlier, that the ultimate force creating the cause and the effect in and around me is nothing but me, I would have found the solution much earlier. So, why do I claim I am my God? It is because; all my happiness and sadness are a direct effect of my cause in this world. I am given the opportunity to explore, learn, seek, create and experience the many wonders in life. How I choose to spend my days is ultimately up to myself; my choices. The power of mind or emotions is far above the physical power. The finite alone can readily be comprehended, by the sense-organs, the mind and the intellect of man, at his present “state” of consciousness. Take love for example; I crave a lover who can slip inside my mind; ideally, someone who has not only heard of my every trauma and triumph from birth, but also experienced them with me. I want to unburden myself with an admirer who knows my darkest/deepest secrets, yet delights in me with unswerving devotion. In reality there can’t be anyone but me! I would like to quote a saying I have heard my grand mother say; “You may search the universe for someone more worthy of your love and affection than you are to yourself but such a person does not exist.” And I would bet my life for this would be the same with you.
Until my beliefs, thoughts, and intentions were in alignment with the natural laws and the principles of this world I continued to be behind the dust of ignorance. I am what I think I am. All that I am arises with my thoughts. With my thoughts, I make my world. I live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. I am that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all. This is I, Jegathpriyan!
Ok, so now to the title subject; Cultivating God essentially means cultivating me. Why? Because, I still don’t have an answer to my question. Now, let’s take a look at what I mean by cultivating me:
It is the process I am in now, to know, I am the cause of my fear, stress, anger, jealousy, sexual tension or frustration, how to control my mind and emotions and how to direct all my life into a truly loving direction. To love is to will good to another for your sake. By doing so I am giving unconditional love to everyone as I understand and acknowledge that it is for my own sake.
Now, you may ask; what does giving unconditional love to everyone for my own sake do in return to the society? Well, others don’t know the motive of my love but just the fact that I am sharing my love, my unconditional love to them and feels pushed to share a similar habit. In case you have not noticed, we humans are for the most part blind followers of something. Some of which are religion, culture, media or your neighbor next door. It has been stripping away our individuality! Our individuality which tells us only one thing to follow in life, ourselves! The choices we make in our lives. Therefore I need to start from the cause of my choices, what makes a choice?
At this juncture, as an example, I would like to reprise an account of my life. I do not need to tell you that in life, change is constant. Things are always dissolving, diluting, dying. Thus one can either race against time in an effort to accomplish as much as possible "squeeze it all in" which can be fun and exhilarating but ultimately can wear you out. Or ride life’s ever-charging flow by learning to relax, surrender, and let go, you realize that stillness is a magnet for contentment. What ever that you choose when it comes to friendship, I think that by not telling your friend how you really feel, you are doing a great disservice to yourself and your friendship. Well, I was once befriended by an individual who wanted to be a friend of everyone. Al though to be friends with everyone is good, one also has to be well aware of the fact that "labeling" is what everyone does. If you want to be a friend of everyone...you will end up being a friend of no one. .If you’re sacrificing yourself for friendships which would never exist if you hadn’t changed your personality, are these friendships worth having? Personally I am not willing to sacrifice myself in the name of extending my circle of friends. I’ve come to realize that perhaps there are people who’ll never see eye-to-eye, who’ll never be able to be your true friends. I understand this to be an unending debate. For friendship is; compromise as much as self-worth is individuality. The important point here is “compromise as much as self-worth is individuality” well, this past friend of mine failed to realize that. Thus causing erupts between us and others.
As I said earlier, my mislead life made me make a choice to leave him and not be the friend he needed to realize what he was doing wrong. Thus, a port of connection between me and my surrounding was lost. If I had only shared love with him and helped him see the person in him, his own self, we would have still be friends and making a good change in the environment we live in a more efficient manner. The problem I had was I was looking for happiness in a person; not to say that is unhealthy but the problem was I expected someone else to make me happy. By doing so I set my self up to be hurt because of my expectations! As our natural state of mind is generally self-centered, we tend to seek love that is visionary. By saying that I mean often times one wants to be welcomed when coming in and wants to be received. Physical (self) love.
But again, selfishness is exactly the problem that we have as people. One of the problems that we have when somebody brings correction to us, we tend to imagine that correction as so out of the ordinary, so unusual, so above and beyond what’s appropriate. And it’s very difficult often for us to receive correction because we tend to camp out in a sense that, “Hey, I’m doing pretty well and I’m trying hard.” And of course we really underline the phrase, “I’m trying hard.” So when some criticism comes against us, there’s an offense because we say, “Well you don’t see how hard I’m trying and you’re just making this cut and dry statement criticizing me and...” So we tend to operate out of selfishness and selfishness means self-interest. To doubt is human, and all of us at some time or the other have experienced irrational doubts. But instead of succumbing to your doubts, learn from them by resolving. I did not obviously learn to resolve a problem like I would do now till recently. So, a friend was lost.
To cultivate-self is like when I build a house for me and my family. The porches or verandas are all without, and are secondary. The building is really constructed for the conveniences within, because I am the primary (GOD). Never the less the building is as important as me for our existence so I need to realize the magnitude of my well being for the building and I to stand together! Pause: When God (self, I) interacts with my prayers draws me into deeper trust, dependence, and obedience; I get introduced to sin that I need to confront. I recognize patterns of behavior I need to break. I gain insights into which I am that I didn't have before. I discover a depth of relationship with God that I've never before experienced. But it is never enough!!!!
