Aadat si hai mujh..

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Tumne hi toh kaha tha na Reetu, buri aadat ko chodne ke liye ek acchi aadat ki zaroorat hai... Tum thi meri acchi aadat!

I'll Be Waiting (Kabhi Jo Baadal) - Cover by Arjun 

You're beautiful

You criminal

Girl you took everything from me

Can't let you go

Like a general

I'm going into battle cause...

You stole the breath from my lungs

Cut my veins, bleeding love

Oh I still remember that scene..

Cuz I can see the tears running down your cheek

I can feel your body so close to me

I can hear the rain dropping at your feet

Cuz your love was gone

(Koi nahi.. Mita de sabhi..)

24x7, I will be waiting

Out in the rain till somebody saves me

Don't care if it takes forever to make you believe

Kabhi jo baadal barse

Main dekhoon tujhe aankhein bharke

Tu lage mujhe pehli baarish ki duaa

It's like a gun shot went straight through me

Stopped my heart from beating

No - won't let you get away

Cuz I can see the tears running down your cheek

I can feel your body so close to me

I can hear the rain dropping at your feet

Cuz your love was gone

Kabhi jo baadal barse

Main dekhoon tujhe aankhein bharke

Tu lage mujhe pehli baarish ki duaa

Tere pahloo mein reh loon

Main khudko paagal keh loon

Tu gham de ya khushiyaan

Seh loon saathiya

You're killin me

You're bad for me

So why do I feel such ecstasy?

Do you believe

In you and me

How do I stop this jealousy?

I'll never stop fighting till you're with me

I built a castle and you're my queen

Just give me a chance to make you believe it again

24x7 I'll be waiting 

Out in the rain till somebody saves me

Don't care if it takes forever to make you believe

Cause you've got to believe it...

Kabhi jo baadal barse

Main dekhoon tujhe aankhein bharke

Tu lage mujhe pehli baarish ki duaa

Tere pahloo mein reh loon

Main khudko paagal keh loon

Tu gham de ya khushiyaan

Seh loon saathiya..

It's like a gun shot went straight through me

Stopped my heart from beating

No - won't let you get away..

Aadat si hai mujh..

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Saturday, July 12, 2014

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Tag : Adore, Digital Impression, I  Perspective, I  Perspective, I Write, Private, Songs

Contralateral?

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Only to a certain extent are we prisoners of the past. The present sets us free. We can shape it to our liking, and we had better start thinking about how we would like it. "Past is Past ,we should look ahead into the future" - you may have heard the echoes of these kind of para-phrases many number of times in the past and you will find it rheoteric in the imminent future as well.

As an enthusiast of unraveling the mysteries of the brain, I know one thing for sure, we cannot annul the past.The brain activates itself based on the information which is impregnated in the neurons spanning our neural network. The past experiences are stored in the "damn memory" with the aid of the incorrigible neurons.The input to this infallible process comes to the brain from the all saddistic senses.

A whole network of guerillic neurons are activated by the electrical signals to recognize an event, person, object or feeling. That is why when we come across a partial set of stimuli which we experienced in the past, we get to have the "pleasure" of reminding the past to ourselves. There are stimuli which are almost certainly not to happen in the rest of our life. May be, we could be salvaged from such deja-vu's in the future.

Then, there is also the other kind, those which created the most remarkable impact in your life.The distinguishing part is that, it might have been a part of everything which might have been inseparable from you.We could always get the laudable aid of the imperishable artifacts, music, stereophonic names, blended events, dodgy calendar, polyphonic tunes and what not. Even if we can manage to find some courage to annihilate them we cannot evacuate the damn data in the neurons.We can pretend the absence of the omnipotent stimuli around us.We are caught up in the prison of the past. It can be apparently denied but not defied.

Contralateral?

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Monday, March 24, 2014

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Tag : Culture, I  Perspective, I  Perspective, Memories, Perspective, Private

At Ease

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We all have to learn different lessons in life. IMO - everyone come into our life for a reason. At the same time, each person has to come to their own realizations on their own time. This is also known as karma. However you view it, when we adopt a broader view, we're able to get out of our limited thinking.

Reason - Somehow, the thinking/researching/sharing/learning process of the purpose of life or my existence is somehow like food to me. Like the favorite food that has the capacity to stimulate the appetite, prompt me to eat more of it, and motivate me to pursue it. Through the course of it, the excitement of having found something that answers my deepest questions is unbound. Naturally, like a person in love, I wanted to share this love with everyone, especially my friends/family and closed ones. Hence it disappointed and frustrated me when they did not share that excitement. It took years for me to see the bigger picture – they have decades of conditioning behind them which might be standing against the concepts of spirituality that are very commonplace for us now. Though it is very common in India to have grown up with terms like karma, past lives, etc., these are “conditions” taken for granted, rather than conditions that can be consciously influenced. This understanding still feels as strange to them(excluding my western friends) as having cornflakes for breakfast.

Problem - One good example that I can put forth here is My Parents and their Married Life. It(Marriage)is often a status quo. While our parents may have got along very well (irrespective of whether the marriage was arranged or out of love) in our childhoods, as they begin to get old, they begin to reminisce a lot. Whether it is because of menopause, or a constant sense of a past weighing them down all the time, or simply a physical condition translating into irritability, parents can get into fights where they might bring up old issues and buried emotions that had no room earlier. It can destroy our perception of them as being “ideal” parents having an ideal marriage even if we are exposed to our friends’ families falling apart. It can disillusion us and leave us confused. I know I went through (still do) hell in my mind struggling to choose the right from wrong of my parents doing.

Understanding - The mirroring theory is the most artistically at work here. I’ve often observed that if there is even a single thought wandering in my subconscious against my decision to break a paradigm, it will get projected in their thinking. Like it or not, parents exist in the same thought field as you and are more sensitive to picking up thoughts from this field, especially when one is defensive or in conflict about a decision. Clean up your thinking and they certainly respond. Secondly, the goal of acting on something we deeply care about and the goal of rebelling against authority can sometimes get mixed up and the consequences can be very messy. To ensure that what you feel like doing is only for your sake, and not for the sake of proving something to your parents takes absolute courage – because it demands your total honesty to yourself. Ages ago when I was not ready to realize the depth of it my grandma (mom's mom) had wisely pointed out that this is where guilt can be a precise pointer –when there is guilt, the act almost always is being carried out as a rebellion against something rather than rising from a heartfelt intent. Thirdly, acknowledging the conditioning that worrying = good parenting in the realm of unconscious parenting. The only way I’ve found that has worked around this is to casually bring up the discussion and being a willing and open listener, providing a safe space for them to voice those fears out for themselves.

Practice - Parents have often rushed through life – through their careers, babies, investments, taking care of our schooling, then college and marriage and now the train of doings seems to have halted abruptly. Often things may have gone unexpressed between them at various points in time due to various reasons. Now the emotions and memories seem to be catching up. When I learnt to relate this way, their disruptions and issues didn’t seem personal to
me (even if I happened to be the subject of those conversations). I stopped interfering and just watched. These are two people working out their soul’s journeys with each other. Why interfere?” I remember my grandma saying. When they ask me to take sides, I check within if I can give them an authentic, balanced viewpoint. If not, I just tell them frankly that I don’t know what to say and won't be the best to judge either. To put in your confusion along with a train of emotions for “working it out” is to add to the mess.

Continuation - Maybe it is always best to give everything its well deserved time. But always remember, in the path of consciousness, parents are our biggest mirrors. At one point life asks us to stop viewing them as just caretakers and changes our roles into caregivers. For some this happens very early. For some, the change happens and takes us by surprise. Either way, the final step is to grow out of the roles and start viewing them as two unique individuals you are born to, so as to work out our lessons together with them. It is indeed a defining moment when you learn to love and be there for them as if you’ve completely chosen it, rather than as a chore or running in a default mode. While becoming a parent undoubtedly has its rewarding moments (which I have only heard about second hand), transforming into a conscious person in their midst unabashedly has beautiful rewards. And this I can tell by first-hand experience. The grass is definitely green on this side.

At Ease

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Sunday, January 26, 2014

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Tag : Adore, Culture, Digital Impression, Family, I, I  Perspective, I  Perspective, Private

Second inning...?

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It is funny you will ask me this; but here is an attempt at it - Who am I really? Can that be defined yet? Beyond the what I look like; my gender; what makes me happy or sad and the cultural construction of my self now, I feel the sense of self is not achieved in a single step; we don’t emerge from our mother’s womb as fully formed adults!

I am everything!

 So, who am I really? Probably by the time I'm long gone and all the pieces of my activities are compiled and analyzed then you can know what you want to know about me. Meanwhile, I write. Simply because I love writing. I'm a deep thinker and I love to believe in the impossible. The ideal is attainable and a shot at it must be given. Don't say 'It won't work' rather ask 'how will it work? Nobody is ever doomed unless they made the choice. To resist good and to adopt evil is already doom. To loose hope is to choose doom but to believe that every step is a passing phase leading towards your hope is to choose progress. I may go on and on but my posts say it all. I don't force you to agree, I only say enjoy!

Whatever it may be; talk it out. Communication is crucial for a sane relationship! And really, I would have preferred you to ask; “What are you here for?  I’ve gotten this far in my life…whether that be finishing school, getting into complicated relationships, growing as a man, nailing a career…but really, is that it? Is this all there is?

Second inning...?

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Saturday, May 26, 2012

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Tag : Adore, Family, I, I  Perspective, Perspective, Private, Share

Tell me..

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Hey "bestest" friend. You know who you are.

I'm just writing this to say that I've been thinking a lot lately and I realize vapidness sans toi. It seems, we can never really talk heart to heart. But that's what I want. Communication is just really important to me. Although it's kind of hard, I kept trying and it sometimes worked but never for a long time. It's hard for me to commit without you.


A year ago I said the same and added a few more... like; please, tell me if you really do like me, so I that I will know if my efforts are worth for anything at all. Don't hint some remark that could possibly be known as flirting. Because that gets me confused and mad. For all I know, you could be just really friendly and has not thought of us to be more than friends. Your actions and words speak otherwise...

And here I am just recollecting.. and ....

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Tell me..

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Wednesday, April 6, 2011

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Tag : I, Perspective, Private

Ne te justifie pas!

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Ne te justifie pas, ne t’excuse surtout pas! Je serais celle qui se contente, celle qui te fait du bien :) Je me rappelle de toi comme d’une vague, mon chéri(j'ai espoir); L’ennui avant le jaillissement, le silence avant la symphonie, puis le silence qui reprend tout, qui m’abandonne, ivre de joie, sur une plage de déceptions.

Ne te justifie pas!

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Thursday, March 31, 2011

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Tag : Adore, I, Memories, Perspective, poem, Private

$48!!!!! (per)

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p/s Do not read on if you are not prepared for some private info!!







There are 2 kinds of men in this world...

Those of the triangle who prefers to wear briefs.

And those of the square who prefers to wear boxers.

OK, to be honest, there's also a third kind of guy who prefers to wear nothing, i.e. commando style. Nothing wrong with that really. I think there's a good 12-15% of us out there. We are pretty adept with our "hardware" so as not to get caught in the zipper when nature calls. We invest in button-fly's. Lol.

Anyway, back to the triangles and squares... for me it has always been simple. I wear what's comfortable and that's usually a square or nothing depending on the situation. But every now and then due to the situation I do wear the triangle..for example, I'd wear briefs as opposed to boxers for badminton sessions. Can't possibly be executing a fade-away jumping smash if my hardware's jingling like Christmas bells. Lol.

Sorry, that could've been too much information. :p

Anyway, I bought a pair of hanro!!! on impulse while gallivanting in prime outlets today. $$$$$$$$!

$48!!!!! (per)

Posted by : Jegan

Date :Sunday, January 31, 2010

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Tag : I, Perspective, Private, Stuffs