Spam

Posted by Jegan | Saturday, October 30, 2004
Spam in other words unsolicited email.

I don't have all the answers.If I did have all the answers (hell, even a few of them...), perhaps I would be able to address some of the queries impressed upon me in the daily glop of unsolicited email. It's rather like having a several mini vans worth of babbling pre-schoolers following you around all day, asking why the dog smells funny. At any rate, here is my attempt to quickly answer some of the questions posed to me in the subject lines of today's spam. Now don't you wanna do the same?



Are you for it?

It? It what? Could you be more specific?

Are you single?

What if?

Bad credit?

Yes, they spelled my name wrong again in the colophon.

Did you seen this?

See what?

Do you believe in ghosts?

I just said I didn't see it. Jeeze.

Fed up with Bush/Kerry?

Not yet. Ask me after the election.

Flu shots?

Color or black and white? Is processing included?

Got meds?

You spelt milk wrong.

Guess what?

What?

Is your home or office low on ink supply?

No, but my patience is a bit thin.

Life premiums too high?

Since when have there been premiums on life?

Looking for a new bingo site to play at?

No. However, I am looking for cheap high-quality software.

Looking for cheap high-quality software?

Hey, how did you know?

Want a flat screen?

Is that another fat comment?

Will your income fall 30% in 2005?

Ask me after the election.

Would you like a government grant?

I wouldn't know what to do with my own government.

Would you like to refinance?

I'd like to get the last few minutes of my life back







| 3 comments

3 comments:

  1. AmitOctober 31, 2004 at 11:17 AM

    Well, seems like they have what they want to some extent. You are definately aggreviated, and so am i u know. I think the best think to do would be to keep it calm and counterquestion them to get them of your butt.
    Like when they ask u qustions like are u married? how about asking them " How often do u engage in threesomes?" or something like that, and try to sound professional:)Its more fun. The next line u may hear might be "Thankyou for your time" and the noise of click which is always a relief. Well atleast if they want to keep their job(remember the conversations are recorded...)...

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 4, 2004 at 4:43 PM

    "I think the best think to do would be to keep it calm and counterquestion them to get them of your butt."


    amit my brave warrior friend... one who has got really big balls coz he is brave enough to put his name one the net..... (amit your full name? how about posting your address too.. might make u balls even bigger with bravery). Learn to spell "thing"....

    ReplyDelete
  3. AmitNovember 4, 2004 at 5:44 PM

    Alright.....looks like we got something going here...First of all stop measuring my balls, will you?
    I think i know how big my balls are.. And i have no idea why i am even bothering to write to someone who cant come forward, hides behind a curtain and asks for my last name and address?????? And Million thanks for correcting my typo....I can spell thing now........Ohh my god u are a genious!!!!!!!!!!!! hold your balls now.....might get bigger and eventually blow up.

    ReplyDelete

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