things..to be a man

| Friday, May 11, 2007
..they are my wants and they are many....

I know my worth isn’t tantamount to what you may think of me, or what they may have thought of me…so why do I continue to try to impress you and me? I contemplate who I am daily. I wonder what it’s all about. Here’s what I’ve noticed so far along the way. Vous m'avez impressionne dans beaucoup de facons... What has made me into a man? When is a boy a man?

Perhaps I was a man when I said "no" to a very stunning 21-year-old woman who was seducing me in my car. Sex seemed…insignificant. I remember little bits of innocence slipping away, like the time I stole a pack of kinder suprise at the mall, the first time I skipped out of school. I carried that guilt for weeks. I pushed innocence away again when I found my first Hustler Magazines, complete with a glossy 8 page foldout poster. I don’t know what it’s like to be a man.

Then I think to my self "I don't have to prove I'm a man. I pee standing up".
It's easy to blame our fathers, friends, media and they are partly to blame. There's plenty to go around. But, blame aside, we are ultimately responsible for the choices that we make. It's a good thing God takes us where we are at. If he waited until we got it right, eternity wouldn't be enough time!!

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