Upakramam

| Monday, February 20, 2006
There are times when showing interest in other people is more important than what we may have to do. This is something that I am trying to put into practice. As my belief is communicate until you understand each other.

Not that all of us are faced with this situation. But there sure are some unfortunate lots who end up in a dilemma as similar to this.

While families these days have come out of their conservative shackle, there are few (outdated ) minds that oppose to the concept of intercaste, interreligion marriages. Leave alone these, there are also people who strongly oppose to LOVE MARRIAGES!

What would one ideally do in this case ? Am really not looking for "We need to fight the families and get married after we get their consent" - Kathaluku Mariyathai- responses. Assume the family is hell bent on you not marrying that girl / guy... What do u do ?

Yagnopavitram, Tatsa Vitru Varenyam,
Bhargo Devasya Dhimahi,
Dhiyo Yo Nah Pracothayat!

7 comments:

  1. Well this is a very vast subject. Each of us have different point of view about this. Whatever is right to me, can be wrong to you. I agree with you about how people oppose the inter-religion and inter-cast marriage, usually, these marriages will create a big problem because there are so many differences in living styles, food habits and etc. For example if a Brahmin girl and Christian boy were married think about the problem they going to face. Brahmins are vegetarian and very much allergic to even a smell of a fish, but in this case, she has no choice but to cook meat for him. WHY? Even if they compromise with each other the food habit either one of them have to change to veg or non-veg WHY? LOVE? Love is between the girl and the boy, they can make the adjustments between themselves but why the parents and kids have to be sacrificed. There is a saying “you can point your finger as far as you want but make sure it won’t hit others nose”.

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  2. I think he(shankar) is saying; keep-your-parents-happy-at-the-cost-of-your-ongoing-relationship!

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  3. ermm yes! Parents definitely are the embodiment of the highest form of selfless love..their endless sacrifices for us are part of their duty as parents and do not constitute a claim to any form of unending obligation on our part as their childen is what I think. But to some parent-child relationship is quite the contrary, with children automatically assuming the entire onus of their conception as a never-ending debt to their parents.
    Do you think children owe a debt of gratitude just because you brought them up and paid all their bills and loved them selflessly and did whatnot for them? As a parent, the definition of your unique brand of selfless true love means you'd have done it anyway, no matter if your children scorned you or adored you. And if you did it just so that you can reserve the right to make their decisions for them, it means you don't respect their independence and freedom of choice - which makes you a stark utter failure as a "selfless" parent.
    "Its ur life you have to decide upon that"

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  4. Well did I not state my opinion yet? hmmm I wonder my last line is not clear huh? "Its ur life you have to decide upon that" thats my opinion :) And any parent should/would understand that..

    Further more I rather be it my choice than someone else cause "if marriage ends up in failure ..." I'd prefer it happens on a marriage where the choice was mine. Yeah I'd be unhappy but still would love my parents. My parents too would be unhappy and probably say 'we told u so...',which am ready to take that.

    But on the other hand, if the choice was parents'... I can't imagine what my feelings would be... may be I'd still love them the same way, reasoning out 'they did not intend this to happen'... but still I can imagine a nagging happylessness, a burning question "WHOSE LIFE AM I LIVING...?"
    As for parents in this case, I hope u'd agree, they might feel much much more hurt... GUILTY!
    what say?

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  5. ermmm choices! u know either way someone gets hurt.

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